«There is a stereotype that goes beyond a woman having to be skinny or sexy. There are expectations. Publicity, media, the web.. They should all know they have a responsibility. They have to own up to it. Not all women want to become mothers, not all women have vagina.» – Kenia, 33 years old
Yo pasé 20 años alisándome el pelo, 20 años a dieta. Era negra, tenía pelo afro, ¿y encima gorda? Ya era mucho. No encajaba, y eso dolía.» – Kenia, 33 años
«When I was a little girl I used to love the Miss Venezuela beauty contest because I wanted to be a fashion designer. However, I also suffered due to it. It became evident to me that to be «beautiful» you needed cosmetic surgery, have the hair in a certain way, starve and do unspeakable things.
I spent 20 years of my life straightening my hair, 20 years on a diet. I was black, had curly hair, and fat? That was not acceptable. I didn’t fit in, and that hurt.» – Kenia, 33 years old
Y yo tengo derecho a pensar que soy lo más, ¿porqué no? Yo me veo y me digo “No tengo nada de malo, estoy perfecta, soy maravillosa”
Pero decir que soy maravillosa está mal visto. Es una insolencia.” – Kenia, 33 años
«I feel like I have set myself free from a lot of things and, on the other hand, I owned up to a lot of others that are mine and will continue to be mine. And that I love them. I have the right to think I am the best, why not? I look at myself and say «There is nothing wrong with me, I am perfect, I am marvelous. But me saying that is frowned upon. It is an insolence.» – Kenia, 33 years old
Tenía esa idea de que yo debía ser todo para el otro.
Pero a él le molestaba como me peinaba, vestía, que zapatos me ponía, como hablaba, si me pintaba las uñas, si me maquillaba. Le molestaba absolutamente todo de mí. Se enojaba por todo.
Pase 3 años de mi vida pensando qué hacer, qué decir, cuándo decirlo, cuándo pedir algo, cuándo no pedir algo, cuándo quedarme callada… que casi siempre era la opción correcta. Yo no me identificaba como una persona que estaba en una relación de abuso. Para mí era normal. Estar en una relación era eso, estaba bien, no lo cuestionaba. No lo identificaba como machismo.” – Kenia, 33 años
“I have never been the perfect house wife. However, while being in a relationship, I made the effort of cooking, doing romantic dinners, celebrating each month we were together. I had the idea that I had to be everything for the other person.
But he would get annoyed by how I wore my hair, how I dressed, what shoes I wore, how I talked, if I painted my nails, if I wore any make up. Everything about me annoyed him. He would get mad about anything.
And so I spent 3 years of my life thinking what to do, what to say, when to say it, when it was ok to ask for something, when should I stay quiet… which it was usually the right choice.
I didn’t identified myself as a person in an abusive relationship. For me it was normal. Being in a relationship was that, it was ok, so I never questioned it. I didn’t recognize it as machismo.” – Kenia, 33 years old
Lo que sí me parece más importante es la conexión, la compatibilidad en la cama. El sexo para mí es el 50% de la relación. Pero decir que eso te importa está mal visto.
Tú no te tienes que masturbar, ni ver porno, ni acostarte con nadie en la primera cita. Tienes que ser una niña de bien o nadie te va a querer, nadie te va a tomar en serio. La doble moral es lo que a mí me molesta.” – Kenia, 33 años
«I don’t care if a man has a good job or a good salary, it is not a requirement for me to like him. I pay for my things, I don’t need anyone to provide for me.
What I do think is important is the connection, our compatibility in bed. Sex for me is 50% of the relationship. But saying you care about that is frown upon.
You should not masturbate, watch porn, or have sex with anyone on the first date. You have to be a good girl or no one will love you, no one will take you seriously. The double standard is what bothers me.» – Kenia, 33 years old
Diciembre 2018 ~ Rolleiflex 3.5 F + Fomapan 400